Beijing, May 18 (Yang Yuqi), the client of Zhongxin. com, knows how to look at his face and manage his emotions at home; Can be a cadre at school and have leadership; Know how to read words, think twice, and even become a "social expert" among peers … … Do you want your children to have these skills?
Recently, many "emotional intelligence training courses" for children and adolescents have been sought after by parents, which has also attracted heated discussion among netizens. Some parents think that if you receive EQ education from childhood, you will integrate into society more quickly when you grow up. However, some netizens questioned that it is impossible to teach children’s high emotional intelligence in several classes. What’s more, let children know how to "observe words and observe colors" too early, and this precocious performance may not be conducive to growth.
Emotional intelligence course costs tens of thousands
Can children be taught leadership and responsibility?
"My son is in the third grade, and he wants to be a squad leader. He may be introverted and will not make friends with teachers and classmates." In order to help her son realize his wish to be a monitor and improve his social skills, Ms. Feng came to an EQ training institution in Zhongguancun, Beijing to consult about the registration.
Like Ms. Feng, there are dozens of parents who are preparing to sign up for summer emotional intelligence training for their children. Too introverted, naughty and disobedient, inattentive, etc., with all kinds of troubles, parents hope to find a solution here.
Can all these seemingly unrelated growth problems be solved through emotional intelligence training? In this regard, the training institution gave a positive answer: "In fact, there are problems with the internal emotional management of children. Our emotional intelligence training is to let children know themselves and manage themselves."
According to the teacher, the full set of EQ courses currently offered by the organization include self-confidence, emotional control, interpersonal communication, language communication, teamwork and leadership training.
In this regard, the reporter visited a number of EQ training institutions in Beijing and found that similar teaching arrangements are similar. There are also institutions that refine and put forward "9 EQs", which means that children’s self-discipline, responsibility and frustration resistance can be shaped.
As for the concept of "EQ", Wen Fang, director of the Beijing Psychological Counseling Center for Primary and Secondary Schools, said in an interview with Zhongxin.com that this is just some conventional concepts: "It has no specific standards and cannot be evaluated. The so-called high EQ is just that people think that he is positive in mood and attitude."
But in the training class, it is expensive to improve EQ. According to the teacher of the training institution, it takes at least 8 months to study the whole course, and the tuition fee is nearly 30 thousand yuan.
Can all kinds of troubles in children’s growth really be solved through "emotional intelligence" training? Mr. Ye, who once worked in children’s EQ training, said: "This is actually playing the so-called EQ edge ball, which has nothing to do with EQ. There is no harm in learning, but it will never solve all the problems of children’s growth as stated in the propaganda. "
Play emotional intelligence "edge ball"
You can register under one year of age, and the content of the class is questioned.
In Mr. Ye’s words, the major EQ training courses that have sprung up recently are like the group construction that adults participate in after work: "At best, it is fun and entertaining; at worst, it is that teachers accompany them to play."
This view has also been recognized by Lao Xu. Lao Xu, who is nearly seventy years old, has taken his grandson, who is almost three years old, to an EQ training institution near Dongdaqiao in Chaoyang District every week for the last six months. He told reporters that the child is introverted, but in order to integrate his grandson into the kindergarten he is about to enter, his parents signed up for the EQ training class.
But Lao Xu can’t figure out what a child less than 3 years old can learn.
Sometimes, Lao Xu will observe through the glass what this self-confidence training course, which costs nearly 10,000 yuan for half a year, has taught. "The six children in the class either stand up and tell stories or play roles." Lao Xu even thinks that he can learn these contents by taking his grandson to the park.
Ms. Fu, who is also waiting for her children to finish class, clearly told reporters: "After the children finish the emotional management class, they will not bring their children again."
It turned out that Ms. Fu used to quarrel with her 6-year-old daughter. In order to let her children learn to control their emotions, Ms. Fu tried the EQ management class. But what happened later shocked Ms. Fu — —
"Once I scolded her, she didn’t talk back. She went back to her room and began to draw me, and then she scribbled on my face. I asked her why she did this, and she said it was taught by the teacher. "
Ms. Fu once questioned the training teacher, but the teacher only explained: "What we can teach our children is to find other ways to vent." However, in Ms. Fu’s view, she would rather let her daughter argue with herself than let her resolve her emotions in this way: "This wrong repression may be more unfavorable to her growth."
In this regard, Mr. Ye explained that the rise of EQ training is not long. At present, there is no reference standard for how to teach and what to teach. Everyone feels the stones and crosses the river.
Now, both Ms. Fu and Lao Xu are rethinking whether sending children who are too young to the EQ class is to encourage them. In this regard, the reporter also learned from many institutions that there is no threshold for signing up for EQ training. Before signing up, children only need to conduct a psychological assessment, and the teacher provides suggestions for class registration according to the assessment scores.
In addition, various training institutions have different requirements for the age of registration. Even the EQ training courses launched by some institutions cover the infancy of children, and different EQ training courses are set up for infants of different months.
A trainer explained to reporters: "EQ education for young children is to teach babies to correctly express their needs and let them know their own and others’ emotions."
EQ classes "bloom everywhere"
Various forms, different abilities of practitioners.
The reporter visited and found that in the EQ training market, in addition to the above-mentioned professional training courses, there are various forms of EQ study camps and EQ summer camps.
In an Internet creative park in Beijing, an organization that mainly manages summer camps for students launched the "EQ Summer Camp" project two years ago. According to teacher Chen of the project, the summer camp will start in July, with a total of six sessions, and now there are not many places left.
Compared with the traditional EQ training class, Mr. Chen suggested that the summer camp only needs 6 days and 5 nights, and it is held in a camp away from parents, and food, clothing, housing and transportation are also with other children, which can effectively improve the level of children’s interpersonal communication.
Short time-consuming and quick results are the "signs" of EQ summer camp. However, in terms of curriculum and goal setting, the reporter found that it is no different from the traditional EQ training class: building self-confidence, learning to take care of yourself, teamwork, etc., which are also the main contents of its launch.
And this 6-day and 5-night emotional intelligence summer camp costs more than 4,000 yuan.
In addition, as for the standards of teachers engaged in EQ training, the reporter learned as a franchisee of training institutions that in selecting training teachers, most of them require teachers’ qualification certificates and psychological counseling certificates. But when asked about the professional training of EQ, the other party told the reporter: "There is unified training at the headquarters, and it will take about a week to get on the job."
As for the training results, the person in charge told the reporter: "The effect can’t be considered. It’s not that the Chinese math exam can reflect the score. If the effect is not good, it is also that parents have not cooperated well. "
Expert: Training class learning is like "performance", mostly for advertising effect.
Can attending the EQ training class really improve children’s EQ as parents wish?
Wen Fang, director of the above-mentioned psychological counseling center for primary and secondary schools in Beijing, pointed out that similar training courses focus on creating a positive atmosphere in which children will show positive emotions. But out of the training class, he is likely to return to his original appearance.
"The teacher encourages every child to raise their hands to speak, and other children also actively raise their hands. In such an environment, even introverted children will raise their hands to speak." For such a phenomenon, Wen Fang thinks it is a kind of "performance behavior". He explained that once the child returns to his daily life and leaves this specific scene, his introverted personality will still be displayed.
Therefore, Wen Fang believes that emotional intelligence training classes will not play a decisive role in the development of children’s behavior, and want to fundamentally improve the so-called "emotional intelligence". Wen Fang said that parents’ behavior is the key.
"Children learn how to behave themselves from their parents." Wen Fang pointed out that the self-awareness of children under the age of 10 has not yet awakened, and most of them are imitations. If parents can set an example and show a positive attitude towards life, their children’s behavior will not be too bad.
As for the infant training launched by many EQ training classes, in Wen Fang’s view, the advertising effect is far greater than the actual significance. (End)